Just Pretend It's A Feature
This telecommunication repair technician is called in to deal with a
phone problem for a customer: The mute button keeps flashing on extension 37.
And it's not the first time the issue has been raised. "I was the
fourth repair technician to be faced with it," says the tech. "I
already knew there was no way to fix this problem, since there would
be no fix by the manufacturer."
So he goes over to the desk of the user at extension 37, introduces
himself, surveys the situation and says, "Oh, you have the system
monitor phone."
"What's that?" customer asks.
"If that light ever stops flashing, it means there's something wrong
with the CPU," the tech explains with a straight face. "In that case,
please call us and open a ticket for replacement of the CPU."
And that's it. "The phone user seemed honored to be trusted with such
a responsibility," says tech. "We never got another call back on that matter."
"And yes, that service call was no charge."
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"Bunyan Fall"
My son, Bunyan, is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fall by grabbing on to parts of the scaffold on the way down. He received only minor scratches.
Embarrassed by the fall, he climbed back up to continue working. The he noticed his co-workers holding up hastily made signs reading 9.6, 9.8 and 9.4.
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CleanQuote
"The first thing dieters lose is a sense of humor."
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"Debt"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied.
"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"
"I really don't have any," I said.
"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.
"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried.
There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?"
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The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy,
regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:
"We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to
get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
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"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W
as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
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"There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Walter O'Malley. There's
nothing he wouldn't do for me. That's the way it is. We go through life
doing nothing for each other." - Gene Autry