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My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.
After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."
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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman
police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop
asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug
through her purse and was getting progressively more
agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your
picture on it." The driver finally found a square
mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at
the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can
go. I didn't realize you were a cop."