"Build It and They Will Come"
The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she reached my very polite and patient son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if we send out someone to give you an estimate?"
"Not at all," my son said.
"When would be a good time?" she asked.
My son answered, "Just as soon as I dig a basement."
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The Danger Of Compliments
I was showing my wife the high number of hits on my web page and some of the
"fan" letters I'd received containing compliments.
She took it all in and then said, "Just remember, the very same people who
praised Jesus also crucified Him."
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A preacher had just finished his sermon, and sat down with his wife. She
asked him how he thought the church service went.
The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the
prayer and communion times went quite well. But," he continued, "I just
don't think my sermon ever got off the ground."
His wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said,
"Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
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Never make fried chicken in the nude.
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Hospital Parking
The County Highway Commissioner was driving to the hospital for
treatment of his painful knee injury, he decided to take advantage of
the hospital's Valet Parking. As he exited his car, a young man with
the Valet Parking Company, comes up and asks if this was a government vehicle.
"Yes," the Commissioner replied, surprised by the question. "In fact
it's an unmarked police car."
"Wow!" the young man said, sliding behind the wheel. "This will be
the first time I've been in the front seat."
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!