What if God Had Voice Mail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary
part of modern life. But have you wondered what would happen
if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and
hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one
of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will
be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on
the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
Jesus, Press 2
The Holy Spirit, Press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while you
are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5, enter his or her social security number, and then
press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try
area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House," please enter
J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions
about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, and where Noah's ark
is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed
for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray
again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance
when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.
Thank God He doesn't have voice mail and that He listens
when we pray!
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