"Tree Faller"
While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.
"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment.
"He fell out of a tree," I reported.
The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.
"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."
Gazing intently at the X-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'expert.'"
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CleanQuote
"When there are too many cooks in the kitchen, the chef will walk out."
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"Marriage Vows"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Ken and Marjorie finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library.
"You know," said Marjorie, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."
"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humour to the occasion."
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I recently found this great website that conducts cyber garage sales. You
list your stuff you want to sell or buy in the subject line of an email,
send it off and wait for a response.
Recently, I sent a note saying I was in the market for three particular
items. In short order, I got three responses. However, nobody had any of the
items I'd listed. But they all found what I'd written amusing. "Wanted -
envelopes, piano bench and one night stand."
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An engineer, my husband often needs to study the shapes of human body parts
to make sure equipment for magnetic resonance imaging is properly designed.
Desperately searching for a model to use for a breast coil he was working
on, he went to a department store and requested bras in sizes 34A to 40C.
"Which one is for your wife?" asked the confused clerk.
He shook his head. "None of them."
"Really?" she said. "You're worse than I thought."
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"I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I
must have been out drinking again. I asked her why she would say that, and
she said, 'Because I'm your father.'" - Dave George