The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in
an eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were
suspicious.
"Hey," he called out to the waitress, "these particles in my soup, aren't
they foreign objects?"
She scrutinized his bowl. "No, sir!" she reassured him. "Those things live
around here."
+++++++++++++++++++
My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los
Angeles Dodgers one night. Our seats were right behind the third-base line.
At the top of the first inning, the batter hit a foul ball. Miraculously, I
managed to catch it on the fly.
As I sat down, breathless with excitement, my wife turned to me and said,
"That was nice. How many of those do you get a game?
+++++++++++++++++++
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is
all you have done since you graduated." - Erma Bombeck
+++++++++++++++++++
These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high
school essays.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she
was the East River.
- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel
trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted
shut.
- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But
unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
not eating for a while.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from
stepping on a landmine or something.
- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
with power tools.
- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten
to put in any pH cleanser.
- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
legs.
- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a
generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band
tightening.
- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
staple it to the wall.