Thursday, April 07, 2005

hUMOR For April 7th

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When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen." He explained.
"When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, they're Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, they're Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the who's talking over the tops of the newspapers, they're juniors. And when they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, they're seniors. "And when you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, they're graduate students."
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When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen." He explained.
"When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, they're Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, they're Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the who's talking over the tops of the newspapers, they're juniors. And when they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, they're seniors. "And when you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, they're graduate students."
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Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a
deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward
through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people." "Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a
land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah,"said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and forests. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then
proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would
be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington. Wait til you see
the idiots I put there!"
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Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a
deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward
through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people." "Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a
land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah,"said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and forests. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then
proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would
be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington. Wait til you seethe idiots I put there!"

hUMOP