Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.
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Puppy Love
My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I
hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair
shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this."
The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back
down on the counter.
"Well, what do you recommend?" I asked.
He looked at me and replied, "Give your dog the other shoe."
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Proud and pleased as she could be, the new, young bride,
Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode briskly up to the teller's
cage at the bank to cash her husband's pay check for the
first time.
When the teller told her the check would have to be
endorsed, the bride grabbed the pen and unhesitatingly wrote
on the back, "I heartily recommend my husband, Stanford
Strothers."
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Small Pizza
While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if
he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6 pieces.
He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it
into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
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"Cleaning Instructions"
I bought a great new toilet seat recently.
On the label was a suggestion on how to clean it.
Although nice to have the option, I doubt I'll take advantage of it.
My toilet seat, it seems, is "Dishwasher Safe."
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CleanQuote
"Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
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"Politeness"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, the boy went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. The boy came in with a second piece of pie and again watched his father give it to a guest.
This was too much for the boy, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."