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Do Not Touch!Our supply clerk at the factory was in a dither. A box had been left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: "Danger! Do Not Touch!"Management was called, and we were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. When the foreman arrived, he donned safety goggles and gloves, and then he carefully opened the box.Inside were 25 signs that read: Danger! Do Not Touch!
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Good Doctors
A fellow was asked if there were any good doctors is his home town. "Good doctors!" he exclaimed. "We have the best doctors in the world. Dr. James Jones is one good doctor; he's great; he saved my life."
"You don't say! How was that?"
"I was very sick and called Dr. Smith. He gave me some medicine and I got very, very ill. I then called Dr. Peters. He gave me more medicine. I got worse - I thought I was going to die.
"Then I called Dr. Jones. He had no time to come. He saved my life."
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Here is today's CleanQuote.
"It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge."
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Here is today's Illustration. - Joy In the Journey
In a remote village in Central America the word got out among the peoples of the region that one of the American missionaries that had served this country for many years was about to return to the US to live our the remaining years of her life.
The nationals desired to honor her for her years of service with a public time of appreciation. News of the event went to all parts of the country in which the missionary was known to the people. One very old and very poor man walked to the ceremony over mountainous terrain for 4 days to bring his gift to the missionary.
The gift consisted of 2 coconuts, but it was all the man had. The missionary recognized the man as coming from the remote village in the mountains.
"Brother, I cannot believe that you would walk so far to present me with this gift," said the missionary to the man.
His response? "Long walk part of gift."
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City Kids Camping Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. Themosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide undertheir blankets to keep from being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said tohis friend: "we might as well give up, they're comingat us with flashlights!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cops...A tourist visiting New York City walked into a petshop and was looking at the animals on display. Whilehe was there, a police officer walked in and said tothe shopkeeper, "I'll take a Patrol monkey, please."The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the sideof the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit it with acollar and leash and handed it to the officer saying,"That'll be $1,000." The officer paid and walked outwith his monkey.Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper andsaid, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of themare only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost somuch?"The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey is an expertin firing small arms, can write 20 tickets a month,and is certified in small unit tactics -- well worththe money!"The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage."That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does itdo?""Oh, that one's a POST certified Technician Patrolmonkey; it can instruct other monkeys in basicfirearms skills, counter-terrorism training, physicaltraining, small unit tactics, and investigativetechniques, and it can even type. All the reallyuseful stuff," said the shopkeeper.The tourist looked around for a little longer and sawa third monkey in a large cage of its own. The pricetag around its neck read $70,000. He gasped to theshopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the othersput together! What on earth does it do?"The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seenit do anything, but it says it's a Sergeant."