"Chewed Out"
My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times???"
"Not a bit," I replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up the plate for you!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miracle Cure?
Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for extraordinary treatment of
arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady,
almost bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane.
When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and,
amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her
head held high. A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this
rushed up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You
walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?"
"Gave me a longer cane."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CleanQuote
"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Appearances "
On Houston Street, a young priest saw a large sign over a hardware store: PINCUS AND O'TOOLE, and went in, to be greeted by man with a beard and yarmulkah.
The priest smiled, "I just wanted to come in and tell you how wonderful it is to see that your people and mine have become such good friends - even partners. That's a surprise!"
"I've got a bigger surprise", sighed the old man. "I'm O'Toole."