hUMOR For March 10th

Thanks to La McD -- Points to Ponder. Think about this
one.

What if God decided to stop leading us tomorrow
because we didn't follow Him today?

What if God couldn't take the time to bless us today
because we couldn't take the time to thank Him
yesterday?

What if we never saw another flower bloom because we
grumbled when God sent the Rain?

What if God didn't walk with us today because we
failed to recognize it as His day?

What if, God took away the Bible tomorrow because we
would not read it today?

What if, God took away His message because we failed
to listen to the messenger.

THINK ABOUT THIS ONE.........

What if, God didn't send His only begotten Son because
He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin?

What if, the door of the church was closed because we
did not open the door of our heart?

What if, God stopped loving and caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others?

What if, God would not hear us today because we would
not listen to Him?

What if, God answered our prayers the way we answer
His call to service?

What if, God met our needs the way we give Him our
lives???

******************************************************

Thanks to Whit Sasser via EXHORTATIONS AND STUFF --
Children Live What They Learn

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be
patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns
confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have
faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like
himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He
learns to find love in the world.

~Dorothy Law Nolte
********************************
Tired Minister

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman
approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was
not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs
and wait until she goes away."

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a
sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife,
"Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman caller, and she
couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both
staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over
an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure
you'll be glad to greet her."
********************************
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.
The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent. "Whoah! What's that over there?" asked the Texan
Cabbie: "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
********************************
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.
The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent. "Whoah! What's that over there?" asked the Texan
Cabbie: "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
********************************
Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic
responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so
the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor
was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "You should have smacked him
twice! He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first
place."
********************************
Subject: Aggie

The aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges were
attending
their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some
parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University
of Houston, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," replied the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" the professor asked of the young
lady
from Rice.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M. "How about
the opposite of woe?"

The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.

hUMOR For March 10th

Thanks to La McD -- Points to Ponder. Think about this
one.

What if God decided to stop leading us tomorrow
because we didn't follow Him today?

What if God couldn't take the time to bless us today
because we couldn't take the time to thank Him
yesterday?

What if we never saw another flower bloom because we
grumbled when God sent the Rain?

What if God didn't walk with us today because we
failed to recognize it as His day?

What if, God took away the Bible tomorrow because we
would not read it today?

What if, God took away His message because we failed
to listen to the messenger.

THINK ABOUT THIS ONE.........

What if, God didn't send His only begotten Son because
He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin?

What if, the door of the church was closed because we
did not open the door of our heart?

What if, God stopped loving and caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others?

What if, God would not hear us today because we would
not listen to Him?

What if, God answered our prayers the way we answer
His call to service?

What if, God met our needs the way we give Him our
lives???

******************************************************

Thanks to Whit Sasser via EXHORTATIONS AND STUFF --
Children Live What They Learn

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be
patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns
confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have
faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like
himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He
learns to find love in the world.

~Dorothy Law Nolte
********************************
Tired Minister

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman
approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was
not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs
and wait until she goes away."

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a
sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife,
"Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman caller, and she
couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both
staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over
an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure
you'll be glad to greet her."
********************************
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.
The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent. "Whoah! What's that over there?" asked the Texan
Cabbie: "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
********************************
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.
The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent. "Whoah! What's that over there?" asked the Texan
Cabbie: "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
********************************
Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic
responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so
the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor
was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "You should have smacked him
twice! He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first
place."
********************************
Subject: Aggie

The aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges were
attending
their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some
parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University
of Houston, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," replied the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" the professor asked of the young
lady
from Rice.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M. "How about
the opposite of woe?"

The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.