Wise Guys
Driving down the highway, I saw this slogan on the back of a
well-known trucking company's vehicle: "We Always Go the
Extra Mile." In the grime beneath it, someone had scrawled,
"That's Because We Missed the Last exit."
Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University
of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this
notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria." Next
to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they want."
##############
Where's the Paper?
"Have you seen this morning's paper?"
"Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it."
"But I hadn't seen it yet!"
"You didn't miss much. Just some coffee grounds and a few orange peels."
##############
It's a Girl
Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were
expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me
at work with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down
all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my
co-workers.
"I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she
weighs five pounds."
"When was she born?" someone asked.
Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the
calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"