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To all the pumpkins in my patch!!!
Never looked at it like this before..............
A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"
The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."
This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.
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Hail or High Water
One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana.
The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.
Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house, then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house.
It kept floating away from the house then back towards the house. Her curiosity got the best of her so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux "Do you see dat dere baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, den back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, dass my husban. I tole dat jackass he gonna cut the grass today come hail or high water...
POINTS TO PONDER
This is really interesting!!
If the population of the Earth was reduced to that of a small town with 100 people, it would look something like this:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (northern and southern)
8 Africans
52 women
48 men
70 coloured-skins
30 caucasians
89 heterosexuals
11 homosexuals
6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America
80 would have bad living conditions
70 would be uneducated
50 underfed
1 would die
2 would be born
1 would have a computer
1 (only one) will have higher education
When you look at the world from this point of view, you can see there is a real need for solidarity, understanding, patience and education.
Also think about the following
This morning, if you woke up healthy, then you are happier than the 1 million people that will not survive next week.
If you never suffered a war, the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture, or hunger, you are happier than 500 million people in the world.
If you can enter into a church (mosque) without fear of jail or death, you are happier then 3 million people in the world.
If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.
If you have bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.
If you read this you are three times blessed because:
1. somebody just thought of you.
2. you don't belong to the 200 million people that cannot read.
3. and... you have a computer!
A s somebody once said: - work as if you don't need money, - love as if you've never been hurt, - sing, as if no one can hear, - live, as if the Earth was a heaven."
If you like, send this to people you call friends.
If you don't send this, nothing will happen. But, if you send it - someone will smile.
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There once was this guy that got a dirty old lamp for his birthday. He cleaned it up and POOF!--out popped a genie!
"I shall give you three wishes. You may have anything you like."
So the guys thinks for a minute and says, "I would like a billion dollars."
"You shall have it," and the genie grants him the wish. "Anything else?"
The guy thinks for a while. Then, "I would like a VW Bug with A/C, power locks, power windows, 10-disk changer, you know the works."
"Your wish is my command. What is your last wish?"
"Hmmm. I think I'll save it for a rainy day."
"OK, suit yourself," says the genie.
So the guy gets in his new VW and goes for a drive to show all his friends. He turns on the radio. There's a very familiar commercial on. The guy starts singing to it: "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
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Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was appendicitis. Mrs Johnson explained that the appendix is on the right.
"So, aha! THAT's why it hurts to much," said Jacob.
"My appendix is on the wrong side!"
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My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried.
"It's perfectly normal," he reassured me, "She's just having her contractions."
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Pretzel Charity
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.
Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and, as
he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never
take a pretzel.
This went on for more than five years. The two of them never spoke.
One day as the man passed the old ladies pretzel stand and left his quarter
as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him,
"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to
tell you that the pretzel price has increased to 35 cents."