As I was packing for my business trip, my three-year-old
daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At
one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out
two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her
tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your
fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the
room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring
at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said,
"What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
+++++++++++++++++++
This project is so important that we can't let things that are more
important interfere with it.
+++++++++++++++++++
My husband and I discovered that our 16 year old son, Andrew, was checking
the calls on our answering machine but neglecting to give us our messages.
Because I knew he'd listen to the message, I decided one day at the office
to leave him a reminder on our machine to take out the trash.
When I got home, the trash was out. Oh, and Andrew no longer checks the
answering machine.
+++++++++++++++++++
My SCUBA instructor always stressed that you should never go diving alone.
If you have equipment problems, your buddy can help you. If you run out of
air, your buddy can help you. If you meet an aggressive shark, your odds are
50-50 instead of 100%.
+++++++++++++++++++
There is a guaranteed way to get what you want. Want less.
+++++++++++++++++++
Car Warning
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow
his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store,
which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she
departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will
print your age."
+++++++++++++++++++
"Memory Improvement"
I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were starting to "slip". In an effort to prevent this "slippage", I went enthusiastically to a three-hour seminar on memory improvement.
After an hour I slipped out, I took the same course, given by the same professor, last year.
+++++++++++++++++++
CleanQuote
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
- Heraclitus
+++++++++++++++++++
"Organization"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum.
"I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and I decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was cleaning, I found the same stupid book. I had bought it a couple of years ago!"