One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the
laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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Teaching Math
Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears.
The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math in school (or not).
Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set"C," the cost of product ion, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M." Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds andsquirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers)
Teaching Math In 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Anderson determine that his profit margin is $60?
Teaching Math in 2005: El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es . . . .
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REDNECK CHALLENGE
I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people
are in the South.
I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this
exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon
tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when
placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane, (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a
capacity of 20 gallons of liquid produced per hour,
how many car radiators are required to condense the
product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700
RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be
harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in
size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How
many beverages will be drank before the trees are cut
down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a
charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the
percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8
feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor
is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses,
how many dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land
in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has
five children. Can each of his grown children place
a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out
front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900
yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45
MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions
on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2
Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per
shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of
the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels
will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate
of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town
which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy
one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that
well. Just goes to show ya... There's a hole heap of
things that big city book-learnin' don't prepare ya
for in this life.
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But, Of Course!
A Russian village east of Moscow got a rude awakening
one morning: A lake vanished overnight, leaving a
large muddy hole. Officials told TV reporters that
the lake may have been sucked into an undergrond cave
system. But an elderly village woman offered a
different theory: "I am thinking, well, America has
finally got to us". (Cut out of the local paper in
Memphis, TN., and is said to be authenic)
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A LITTLE HUMOR;
Progress is when everyone pushes in the same
direction.
Idleness is the rust that will attach itself to the
most brilliant minds;
Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember
MOSES started out as a basket case... get it.?
COULD THIS BE YOU ?
My idea of visitation-----------Folks coming to see
me.
My idea of sympathy----------Everybody suffers wih
me.
My idea of Meekness---Yielding to me.
My idea of unity---Everybody agreeing with me.
My idea of cooperation----Everybody working in my
place.
My idea of a good sermon---One that fits everyose
except me..
My idea of a sinner--- the person i dislike.
My idea of good attendance in worship,
THE BEST GIFT TO GIVE:
To your friend---Loyalty
To your enemy--Forgiveness;
To your boss --service
To a child --- a good example;
To your parents---gratitude and devotion;
To your mate---Love and faithfulness;
To all men and women---Charity;
To God---Your Life.
THIS IS TAKEN FROM THE EASTSIDE CHURCH OF CHRIST
BULLETIN; MUSKOGEE, OK.