Sunday, May 15, 2005

hUMOR For May 15th

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The minister's car wouldn't start and he called the garage to come and tow it in for repair. When the truck driver appeared at his house to get the car, the minister said, "I hope you'll go easy on me. You know, I'm only a poor preacher."
"I know," said the tow truck driver, "I've heard you preach!"
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In the US, it takes more brainpower to fill out the
income tax forms than it does to earn the income in
the first place.
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So if the world is truly getting "smaller", how come
the US Postal rates keep going up?
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All politicians claim they know what it was like to be
poor. OK, fine, but why do they insist on the rest of
us learning too.
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In the US, there are several ways to become rich:
inherit a lot of money, invent/develop, win the
lottery or sue somebody.
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Hospitals still have private and semi-private
accommodations. If you have an HMO though,
semi-private means two to a bed.
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Strange how people who don't even know their
neighbors, are extremely curious to know if there's extra-terrestrial life.
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My husband-to-be helped his aunt take the furniture of her boyfriend's home to a charity after the gentleman had passed away. She asked him if we still needed anything for our new life, and he told her that we had everything but a bedroom set. She graciously gave him the master bedroom set from the home.
The problem was that the poor man had died on the mattress, and I wanted to replace it with a new mattress, with my next paycheck. I really didn't want to sleep on a bed that someone had died in.
My mother-in-law-to-be heard the story. She urged me not to be silly and to use the perfectly good mattress instead of spending the money on a new one.
My mother-in-law-to-be soon came for an overnight visit.
The next morning she came out of her bedroom, and immediately asked me how I had slept, and I told her I had had a great night's sleep. She promptly reminded me of how I had foolishly wanted to buy a new mattress, and that I didn't appear to have suffered much sleeping on a bed that someone had died in.
I quickly answered that I had indeed bought a new mattress, and it was she that had slept on the poor man's mattress.
Its really fun to watch people's faces turn that many shades of "pale"!