Thursday, March 24, 2011

Today's hUMOR

Ice Cream

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The
wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now."
Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his
wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.

"I won't forget," the old gent said.

"But I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it, so I'll write it
down," she replied.

"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the
gentleman.

A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and
eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down
because you forgot the toast."

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"Open Microphone"
While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."
The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing:
"Be vewy, vewy quiet. We aw hunting submawines."
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CleanPun
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
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One Liner
“It must be tough going through life with a short - hey look, there goes a butterfly!”
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CleanQuote
"He who dies with the most toys is still dead."