I'm not taking you shopping with me again!
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton
insists her husband go with her to Walmart, but he
gets bored with all the shopping trips.
He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton
loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to Mrs.
Fenton
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from
our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
video surveillance equipment. All complaints against
Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was
shopping in Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to
go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and
watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put
a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help
him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people
just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the
anti-depressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and
screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least .
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Walmart
"LAUGHTER IS CONTAGIOUS"
Have You Infected Anyone Today?
+++++++++++++++++++
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of
marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is. The
wife goes into a tirade, listing every problem they have
ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on
and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk,
embraces the woman and kisses her passionately.
The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says, "That is what
your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do
that?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can
get her here Monday and Wednesday; but Friday, I play golf."
+++++++++++++++++++
"One nice thing about egotists, they don't talk much about other people." -
Lucille S Harper