My daughter is in the Navy and is assigned as an electrical officer
on a carrier. Recently I asked her what her duties were. She
answered, "To fix electrical problems."
When I asked what was considered an electrical problem on a carrier,
she replied, "Anything you can't fix with a hammer."
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Cletus
Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has
a thermos.
He asks him what it does, and the co-worker responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Cletus is amazed, and when he gets home, he immediately goes
out and buys one. The next day he goes to work and is proud
that he has this wonderful object.
The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What
do you have in it?"
He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
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Checking Out
I was checking out at a busy supermarket and the cashier was
having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
malfunctioned, and then the cashier spilled a handful of
coins.
When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to
soothe her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure."
Still frazzled, she glared at me and said, "You're no bean
pole yourself!"
Toothpaste
Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions"
that spotlights people who live in our community.
In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age,
people are asked questions that give a snapshot of their
personalities.
Recently one woman was asked, "What's the strangest thing
you ever bought?"
She answered, "Dog toothpaste."
Next question: "What is the most common thing people say to
you?"
Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"