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Stress Relief
As an assistant professor, I taught during the day and did research at
night. I would usually take a break around eight, however, to play the
strategy game Warcraft online with a teammate. (Because the game is online,
the team players do not see each other since they are playing from
different locations, sometimes in different cities or countries).
One night I was paired with a veteran of the game who was a master
strategist. With him at the helm, our troops crushed one opponent after
another, and after six games we were undefeated. Suddenly, my fearless
leader informed me his mom wanted him to go to bed.
"How old are you?" I typed.
"Twelve," he replied. "How old are you?"
Feeling my face redden, I typed back, "Ten."
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Most Famous Man
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.
"My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh."
"Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn."
"I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world."
"Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know.
"Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
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Errors and Mistakes
To err is human; to forgive devine.
To err is human; to purr, feline.
To err is human; two curs, canine.
To err is human; to do nothing, benign.
To err is human; to quit, resign.
To err is human; to howl, lupine.
To err is human; to solve, design.
To err is human; to moo, bovine.
To err is human; to soothe, calomine.
To err is human; to pretend, pantomime.
To err is human; to bloom, columbine.
To err is human; to prance, equine.
To err is human; to add, combine.
To err is human; to befriend, pal o' mine.
To err is human; to woo, Valentine.
To err is human; to horrify, Frankenstein.
To err is human; to straighten, align.
To err is human; to drown, Clementine.
To err is human; to twist, serpentine.
To err is human; to love, sublime.
To err is human; to cut in, go back in line!
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23rd Psalm
The Lord is my Shepherd
THAT'S RELATIONSHIP!
I shall not want
THAT'S SUPPLY!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
THAT'S REST!
He leadeth me beside still waters
THAT'S REFRESHMENT!
He restoreth my soul
THAT'S HEALING!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
THAT'S GUIDANCE!
For His name sake
THAT'S PURPOSE!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death
THAT'S TESTING!
I will fear no evil
THAT'S PROTECTION!
For Thou art with me
THAT'S FAITHFULNESS!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me
THAT'S DISCIPLINE!
Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies
THAT'S HOPE!
Thou anointest my head with oil
THAT'S CONSECRATION!
My cup runneth over
THAT'S ABUNDANCE!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life
THAT'S BLESSING!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
THAT'S SECURITY!
Forever
THAT'S ETERNITY!
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>From a friend -- Love to Fish
One day, two guys, Larry and Butch were out fishing. A
funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing
by, and Butch takes off his hat and puts it over his
heart. He does this until the funeral service passes
by.
Larry then said, "Gee Butch, I didn't know you had it
in you!"
Butch replies, "It's the least I could do. After all
I was married to her for twenty years..."