The old man was always telling his grandson about the good old days, and the
lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a lad," he'd say, "my mom
could send me to the store and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6
oranges, 2 loaves of
bread and a magazine, some new blue jeans, all for a dollar."
Then the old man said sadly, "You can't do that any more. Now they've got
those darn video cameras everywhere."
+++++++++++++++++++
A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some
deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant. They peruse the menu
and finally agree to share the chef's special, "Chicken Surprise."
The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as
the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny
amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the
lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two beady little eyes
looking around again before it firmly slams back down. Rather perturbed he
calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an
explanation.
"Well sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"
"We both chose the same," he replies, "the Chicken Surprise."
"Oh I do apologize, this is my fault," says the waiter. "I've brought you
the Peking Duck."
+++++++++++++++++++
"I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are
'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'" - Dean Martin
+++++++++++++++++++
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
Performed by Gayla Peevey (1953)
Lyrics & Music by John Rox
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas -
Only a hippopotamus will do...
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy,
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy.
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas -
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue,
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do.
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
Creeping down the stairs,
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there.
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas -
Only a hippopotamus will do;
No crocodiles, no rhinoceruses -
I only like hippopotamuses...
And hippopotamuses like me too!
Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian.
There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage,
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage.
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
Creeping down the stairs,
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there.
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas -
Only a hippopotamus will do;
No crocodiles, or rhinoceruseses -
I only like hippopotamuseses...
And hippopotamuses like me too!
+++++++++++++++++++
50th Anniversary Gift of Travel
Special timeless Anniversary gift for those that matter...
With a couple celebrating their 50th Anniversary at the Church's marriage marathon, the Pastor asked Bob to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all those years.
The husband replied to the congregation, “Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions.”
The Pastor inquired, “trips to where?”
“For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China.”
The Pastor then said, “What a terrific example you are to all husbands Bob! Please tell the congregation what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th Anniversary?”
Bob replied, “I'm going to go get her.”