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Weight Report
A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.
One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.
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Here is today's Oneliner.
"I have a speech impediment... my foot."
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Here is today's CleanPun. - Rock and Roll
With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.
I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.
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In 1996, Dolly the sheep was born.
Dolly was the first mammal cloned from a cell taken
from an adult animal. She was, according to the
Institute, "Derived from cells that had been taken
from the udder of a 6-year old Finn Dorset ewe and
cultured for several weeks in the laboratory."
MARY AND THE LAMB
Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was slightly gray
It didn't have a father
Just some borrowed DNA
It sort of had a mother
Though the ovum was on loan
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone
And soon it had a fellow clone
And soon it had some more
They followed her to school one day
All cramming through the door
It made the children laugh and sing
The teachers found it droll
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control
No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary
But now they feel quite sheepish
Those scientists unwary
One problem solved,
but what to do With Mary, Mary, Mary...
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THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a
free trip around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the
longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you
left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often
much jollier than the people who have to wait for
them?
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside
of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come
nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may
also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it
happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp,
some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but they all exist
very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.
Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks
you're great has thought about you today!..
Working for God on earth does not pay much, but His
Retirement plan is out of this world.