Friday, June 10, 2011

Today's hUMOR

"New Brain Study"
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that anyone with insufficient brain activity reads e-mail with one's hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now; it's too late.
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
Snow White Photos
Snow White took photos of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. She took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos.
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
"I'm going to live forever, or die trying!" ~ Spider Robinson
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
Teaching junior high school English, Mr. Speller emphasized the importance of nice clean margins on student papers.
One seventh-grade boy said in his essay that he was sorry to write in the margarine.
When he graded his paper, Mr. Speller added a little note next to his that said, "Maybe next time you will do butter."
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
Teaching junior high school English, Mr. Speller emphasized the importance of nice clean margins on student papers.
One seventh-grade boy said in his essay that he was sorry to write in the margarine.
When he graded his paper, Mr. Speller added a little note next to his that said, "Maybe next time you will do butter."
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "The Rules of Bureaucracy"
1. Preserve thyself.
2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.
3. A penny saved is an oversight.
4. Information deteriorates upward.
5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%.
6. Experience is what you get just after you need it.
7. For any given large, complex, hard to understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap wrong answer.
8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.
9. To err is human; to shrug is service.
10. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)