Biology Test
Students in biology were taking their final exam. The last
question
was,
"Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none
at
all.
One student was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote;
1. It is the perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always at the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to the mother, & vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, just before the bell indicating
the end of the test rang, he wrote;
7. It comes in really awesome containers.
He got an A
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Mensa Convention
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or
higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San
Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.
While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker
contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt.
How could they swap the contents of the bottles without
spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly
this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented
ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution
involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They
called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the
pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."
"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She
unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
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Mensa Convention
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or
higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San
Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.
While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker
contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt.
How could they swap the contents of the bottles without
spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly
this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented
ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution
involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They
called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the
pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."
"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She
unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
+++++++++++++++++++
This has got to be one of the most cleverE-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too muchspare time or is deadly at Scrabble.(Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: ! When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: "Hot today in New York. If you have an oyster bar in your
town, try this: Go to the oyster bar, sit down, order coffee,
whatever you're going to have, then when they're not looking,
fill your pants with shaved ice." -Dave Letterman
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaaytoo much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law). Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!DON' T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
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Deer CrossingA crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing.As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway.Turning to a co-worker he said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?"
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"The iPhone came out today. People were camping out all night
in front of the store. These people are pathetic, really...
Oh, come on — get a life. Especially the people behind me in
line. They were noisy." -Craig Ferguson
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"The iPhone comes out today. The summer release date coincides
perfectly with the first day of pushing people in the pool
with their phones in the pockets." -Jimmy Kimmel
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Brandon, my grandson was working at a pet store that offered
free replacement fish to any that die. A lady called and
stated that her hamster had died. The salesperson who answered
the phone misunderstood her, thinking it was a fish, told her
to place it in a plastic bag with water and return it so it
could be replaced. The lady followed instructions to a "T"
and brought her dead hamster in a bag of water and handed to
my grandson and said "my hamster died." Laughing he replied
"Was that before or after you placed it in the bag of water?"
He was fired for not showing sympathy to a customer!
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Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner
had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One
afternoon he returned early from work and saw a plumber's
truck in the driveway.
"Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be
having an affair."