"Empty Nest Syndrome"
You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if.....
You have thrown out the better part of the last several one-gallon jugs of milk, but still can't bring yourself to buy the one-quart cartons.
You called the power company and asked them to check your meter, because the hot-water bill has been way too low.
You suddenly realize that you no longer need to include video late fees as part of the monthly budget.
You are shocked when you notice you can push the buttons on the car radio and KNOW what station you will get.
The bottle of shampoo has been in the shower so long you are starting to think it might be a mystical experience - kind of a loaves-and-fishes thing.
They've been gone three years and you still cook enough for your husband to have seconds and thirds ... and fourths.
You still walk through the living room in the crouched position with your picking-up hand brushing the floor, even though it encounters no dirty socks.
You ask the mechanic to check why your car is costing so little to run.
Your cupboards overflow with uneaten school lunch treats.
You still hide your best make-up.
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Careless Clifford Clifford Clarke was a careless chap.
Every hostess hated him. They feared for their precious porcelain and good furniture whenever this emulator of a china shop bull appeared. His reputation spread and eventually he became a pariah. No one would ask him to a party for fear of damage.
Then one charitable, kindly woman felt sorry for him. "C. C. can't be all that bad," she said. "The poor soul deserves one more chance."
So she sent an invitation to the loutish fellow and to display her faith further, she put on her finest dress for the occasion.
Clifford arrived on the dot and for the first hour managed to avoid disaster. It was not until refreshments were served that the customary accident happened. He spilled his entire cup of black coffee over his hostess' evening dress which she had bought that summer in Paris for a lot of money.
Tearfully gazing at her ruined gown, flushed with anger, she turned on her clumsy guest and exclaimed: "Go, and never darken my Dior again!"
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One Liner
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CleanQuote
“You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
~Nora Ephron
~Nora Ephron