!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check it out these actual cases
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the
coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the
ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged
along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and
bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort
them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the
spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending
to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the
husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
______________________________________________
Still having a bad day?
Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running
from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily
listening to his Walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly
The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get Out Much?
While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our
table, and we started talking.
He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.
With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner
for our family. I said, "No, I also work ... out of our home."
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter
had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born
in. "He was born at home," I answered.
The man looked at me, then said, "Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get Out Much?
While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our
table, and we started talking.
He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.
With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner
for our family. I said, "No, I also work ... out of our home."
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter
had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born
in. "He was born at home," I answered.
The man looked at me, then said, "Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"How many calories in a mouse?" and "What should I feed a
borderline collie?" are just a few of the wacky questions
that the Iams Pet Professionals have fielded from pet
owners. Here are some of the team's favorite calls in recent
years to 800-863-IAMS (4267):
* "My two-year-old daughter loves the taste of Iams -- is it
okay for her to eat it?" -- mother, Staten Island, N.Y.
* "What's the best way to get superglue off my dog's paws?"
-- dog owner, Arlington, Tex.
* "Can a dog get claustrophobia?" -- dog owner, Cambridge,
Mass.
* "My dog growls in his sleep. Do you think he could have a
vitamin B deficiency?" -- dog owner, Puyallup, Wash.
* "How can I get the secret recipe for your Iams Chunks dog
food?" -- dog owner, Anchorage, Ak.
* "I think if my dog received mail, it would build his
character. Can I register him on your mailing list?" -- dog
owner, Richmond, Va.
* "Where can I get a six-toed cat?" -- cat owner, El Paso,
Tex.
* "How do I potty train my pot belly pig?" -- pot belly pig
owner, Vero Beach, Fla.
* "What's up with my cat? She looks at me strangely when I
sing and dance for her." -- cat owner, New York, N.Y.
* "Is it normal for a dog to shed?" -- dog owner, Miami,
Fla.
* "I have two new kittens and I don't want to leave them
home alone. Can I carry them around in my gym bag?" -- new
kitten owner, Brooklyn, N.Y.
* "How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?" -- pet
owner, Ephrata, Wash.
* "My son just sold me a subscription to the Iams Your Cat
magazine. But you tell me it's free?" -- concerned mom,
Englewood, Ohio.
* "Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's
teeth?" -- puppy owner, Chico, Calif.
* "I raise worms -- the world's most perfect protein source.
How about using them in your food?" -- worm farmer, Long
Barn, Ohio.
* "How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's
toothbrush?" -- cat owner, Los Angeles, Calif.
* "I really like your paw print logo. Does Iams have a
tattoo?" -- pet owner, North Tonawanda, N.Y.
"When these type of calls come in, it's hard to keep a
straight face," says Sally Northcutt, manager of Customer
Service, The Iams Company. "But we know that most of the
time, we have a customer on the phone who is genuinely
concerned for his or her pet. Our sole purpose is to help
pet owners with their questions, so however strange those
questions may seem, we try our best to answer them."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!