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Worm Stubborn
Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for
days. Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No
luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to
no avail.
Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said, "Look
young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere until you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you
have eaten will you leave."
Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said "OK. I'll eat but I have
some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I
want it and second you'll share with me."
Dr. Gill was OK with this. He asked the child what he'd like. "Worms!"
said Josh.
Dr. Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a
loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many,
just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.
So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that
the single worm be cut into two pieces and then Dr. Gill eat half. Dr.
Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely
managing to keep his cool, said, "OK, now eat!"
Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way! You ate my half!"
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The river is a wonderful book with a new story to tell everyday.~Mark Twain
Life provides many classrooms.....from libraries and
schools to rivers and mountains. The river is my
favorite classroom.
Whether the river takes us to towns, festivals, or
fishing, there are stories to hear at every bend.
But, when we are very still and watch the river and
listen carefully, we hear our own stories.....welling
up from the river within us.
"The river has taught me to listen; you will learn
from it, too. The river knows everything; one can
learn everything from it." ~Herman Hesse
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We took my sons, ages seven and five, up to Friendship Park
for a picnic.
My seven year old read the sign with the playground rules to his brother.
"Do not jump on the merry-go-round when in motion."
"Go down the slide while sitting, only."
"Only one child on a swing at a time."
(There were a good twenty rules.)
The boys promised to obey them if I would let them play
without Daddy standing by. So, I joined my wife at the
picnic table.
Just before it was time to eat, I went over and watched them play. They were obeying the rules, that is, all but one. On the tall semicircular slide, they were coming down head first!
I took them over to the posted regulations. We read them, again. I asked the boys what they had to say for themselves.
"Oh, don't be silly, Dad...no one uses the slide rule
anymore!"
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My husband works as a service technician for a large exterminating company.
One of the rules of the company is that he has to comfirm each appointment by phone the night before his service call to that household.
One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered the phone, he said,
"Hi, this is Gary from A to Z Pest Control Company. Your wife phoned us."
There was a long silence, and then my husband heard the man on the other end say,
"Honey, it's for you......someone wants to talk to you about your relatives."
********************************Finished Chores My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list is never completely crossed off, but Mother's always is. Puzzled, I asked her how she managed that. "Simple," she answered with a satisfied grin. "I do the chore first, and then I put it on the list and cross it off!"****************** *Here is today's Oneliner.* "Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'"****************** *Here is today's CleanPun. - Collie* One of the pups in a breeder's litter of collies had a strange appetite, fostered no doubt, because the dog fancier's kennel was deep in the southern United States. The odd youngster spurned regular dog food, no meaty tid-bits could tempt him and he hated dog biscuits. just in time to save the little dog's life, the owner found he would eat nothing but watermelons. He doted on them. His brother pups could not understand this and they teased him unmercifully. He became the butt of their pranks until his tail would droop and he would whimper and shiver in a corner. His mother, trying to comfort him, called him to her. She said, ... "Come to me, my melon collie baby."
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Bubba and Billy Bob, from Lower Alabama, traveled to Asheville, NC,
for a vacation. While walking along a busy downtown street they see a sign in a store window: "Suits $5.00 --- Shirts --- $2.00 --- Trousers $2.50 a pair."
Bubba says to Billy Bob, "Lookee here! We could buy a whole gob of
these clothes, take 'em back to Lower Alabama 'n sell 'em to all our friends 'n make a fortune fer us." Bubba continues, "Now when we go in there, don't you say a word, okay? Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're iggerant. I'll talk wif a slow Carolina drawl so's they won't know."
In they go and Bubba says with his best fake Carolina drawl, "I'll take 50 of them there suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll just back up my pickup and......"
The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from Lower Alabama, ain't ya?"
"Well....yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How'd you come to know dat?"
"Cause dis here's a dry-cleaner's."