Great News
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to
be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness. Kissing his
wife, he said, "Oh, darling, I'm the happiest man in the
world."
But then she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way because
tomorrow morning my mother is moving in with us."
**********
Potential Juror
As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery
case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering
questions from both sides.
The prosecutor asked had I ever been mugged?
Did I know the victim or the defendant?
The defense attorney took a different approach.
"I see you are a teacher," he said. "What do
you teach?"
"English and theater," I responded.
"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the
defense attorney quipped.
"No" I shot back. "You better watch your
acting."
I was excused from the case.
**********
Historic Recall
Ms. Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the
discovery of America by Columbus.
She concluded with, "And all this happened more than 500 years ago."
"Wow!" exclaimed one student, "What a great memory you have!"