One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her
six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and
hit his head.
Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all
night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's
your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she
entered the room.
When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white
on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled
message taped to his forehead.
It read: "My name is Daniel."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to JLH: THE POPE GETS BEHIND THE WHEEL
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded
into the limo,(and he doesn't travel light), the
driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the
curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would
you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they
never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a
cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do
that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should
happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone
to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be
something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a
smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope
climbs in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after
exiting the airport the pope accelerates to 105MPH.
(Remember, he's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the
worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the
metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my
job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the
cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him,
goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the
dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that
he's stopped a limo going 105 MPH."So bust him," says
the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really
important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit
of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: " Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious: "What
makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today's PearlyGates Item
Wendy was waiting her turn at the bakery, when she heard a prospective bride give the cake decorator a hard time as she previewed her wedding cake. She demanded many extras and was critical of the work he'd done so far. After she left, he muttered, "I'm glad I put my special golden award on this cake. That young woman is sure eligible for it."
Curious, Wendy studied the cake closely, but saw nothing. Finally the decorator pointed to the tiny bridegroom atop the cake with his tiny bride and there it was. Barely visible was the "golden award", a tiny wedding ring, inserted in the groom's nose.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bubba @ Junior
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blond lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior! shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blond? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Until late last summer, Bubba and Junior were employed working for the City of New Orleans, among the workers maintaining those New Orleans levees.