Wedding Vows
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my
Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take
this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your
wife," and my Mom said, "He does."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Three-man Business Account
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a
want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by
a very nervous man who ran a three-man business.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man
said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my
worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I
don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will
be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does
the job pay?"
"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."
"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young man
exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum
like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to J&GB -- An 80 year old woman was arrested
for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did
you steal?"
She replied: "A can of peaches."
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she
replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the
can.
She replied, "6."
The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the
punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the
judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas... "
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where is the Post Office?
A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of
a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who
asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office
is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down
the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new
preacher in town, and I'd like for you to come to
church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on;
you don't even know the way to the post office!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From WS: Benefits Of The Company Car
1. It accelerates at a phenominal rate.
2. It has a much shorter braking distance than the
private car.
3. It can take speed humps at twice the speed of
private cars.
4. The battery , radiator water, oil and tires never
have to be checked.
5. The floor is cunningly designed to double as an
ashtray.
6. It does not need to be kept under shelter at night.
7. It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil
warning light flashing.
8. It needs cleaning less often than private cars.
9. The suspension is reinforced to allow for the
weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other
building material.
10. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily
eliminated by turning up the radio.
11. It needs no security system and may be left
anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.
12. It is the only type of car able to leave the road
in game reserves and chase after animals in the bush
for a closer look.
13. It is especially sand and waterproof for barbeques
and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.