On a Sunday morning

On a Sunday morning a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to get up and go to church.
"I'm not going to church this morning," the son says.
"You gotta get up and go to church", says mother.
"No, I'm not." says the son.
"Yes you are", says the mother.
"No, I'm not, they don't like me and I don't like them." says the son.
"Give me two good reasons why I have to go," says the son. "Number one, you're 55 years old and number two, you're the pastor!"

I was driving

I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS MG'.
I was able to pull up beside the car at the next light, so I said to the driver, "Hey, that's not an MG."
The driver looked over at me and said, "I'm not Bob."