Criminal Lawyer
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town,
obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks,
"Is there a criminal lawyer in town?"
To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yes, but we
haven't been able to prove it yet!"
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"Golf Discovery"
A wife was getting tired of her husband golfing every Saturday, so she decided to go with him to see what the attraction was.
His first drive of the day went into the rough, then his second shot bounced across the fairway into the lake. After retrieving his ball, his third shot wasn't any better. It went back across the fairway into the rough again.
After taking several more shots to finally reach the green, he turned to his wife and said,
"And you thought I was having a good time."
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Today's Oneliner
"My dog treats me like family - the cats treat me like staff."
-- Ed Hector
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"Church Buses"
Our local Catholic church has plans start a ministry similar to that used successfully by so many protestant churches.
They'll be bringing their parishioners to services by bus. They plan to call it "mass transit."
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"So," the woman asked the detective she had hired, "did you trail my husband?"
"Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out of the way restaurant and then to an apartment."
A big smile crossed the woman's face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, gloating." Is there any doubt what he was doing?"
"No ma'am." replied the sleuth, " It's pretty clear that he was following you!"