********************************
Words to Live By
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today....
******************************************************
The "Gippers" Wisdom
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
"The most terrifying words in the English language
are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."
"Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too stong."
"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."
"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."
"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me. Even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
All quotes of Presiden Ronald Reagan.
*****************************************************
(These do not apply to criminals, who will be able to get a gun in spite of gun regulations of gun abolishment. L.B.S.) a.. An armed person is a citizen. An unarmed person is a subject.
b.. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c.. Smith &Wesson: The original point and click interface.
d.. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e.. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f.. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g.. Free people do not ask permission to bear arms.
h.. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i.. Those who trade liberty for security have neither- 60,000,000 Citizens were exterminated by their own governments in the 20th century.... will the 21st be any better???
j.. The United States Constitution - 1791. All Rights Reserved.
k.. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
l.. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
m.. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n.. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
o.. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
p.. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q.. 911 - government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
r.. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s.. Criminals love gun control -- it makes their jobs safer.
t.. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
u.. Only a government that is afraid of it's citizens tries to control them v.. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w.. Enforce the "gun control laws" we have, don't make more.
x.. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
y.. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
z.. "...a government by the people, for the people..."
********************************
A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawnmower down the street with a "For Sale" sign on it.
A man stopped him asked if the mower would run. The boy told him it would, so the man bought it.
A while later, the boy was walking past the man's house and saw him pulling repeatedly on the starting rope with no success.
The man noticed the boy and said, "I thought you told me this mower would run!"
The boy replied, "Well you have to use some cuss words to make it start."
The Man responded, "Son, I'm a preacher; I don't know any cuss words!"
"You keep pulling on that starter rope and some'll come to you!"
********************************
A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawnmower down the street with a "For Sale" sign on it.
A man stopped him asked if the mower would run. The boy told him it would, so the man bought it.
A while later, the boy was walking past the man's house and saw him pulling repeatedly on the starting rope with no success.
The man noticed the boy and said, "I thought you told me this mower would run!"
The boy replied, "Well you have to use some cuss words to make it start."
The Man responded, "Son, I'm a preacher; I don't know any cuss words!"
"You keep pulling on that starter rope and some'll come to you!"
********************************
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street.
The other dog says, "What was that about?"
The dog first dog says, "I was just checking my messages."
********************************
Pretty Smart
The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess,
who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the
theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.
The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and
bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered
doubtfully at her.
Finally, one of them muttered to the other, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear,"
carefully spelling the key word.
Whereupon the child piped up, "But awfully s-m-a-r-t!"