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Medical Research
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out. All from the same person.
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Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. Though both of them found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant."
"How did you answer that last one?" asked Robert. "I thought it was tough at first.... then I thought of Superintendent."
"I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist."
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There was a man who was stranded on a desert island for many, many years. One day, while strolling along the beach, he spotted a ship in the distance. This had never happened in all the time he was on the island, so he was very excited about the chance of being rescued.
Immediately, he built a fire on the beach and generated as much smoke as possible. It worked! Soon, the ship was heading his way. When the ship was close enough to the island, a dinghy was dispatched to investigate the situation. The man on the island was overjoyed with the chance to be rescued and met his saviors as they landed.
After some preliminary conversation the man in charge asked the man on the island how he had survived for so many years.
The man replied by telling of his exploits for food and how he was able to make a fine house to live in. In fact, the man said, "You can see my home from here. It's up there on the ridge."
He pointed the men in the direction of his home. They looked up and saw three buildings. They inquired about the building next to the man's house and he replied, "That's my church - I go there to worship on Sundays."
When asked about the third building, the man replied, "That's where I used to go to church."
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Here is today's CleanPun.
A man is struck in the head by a rock during a heated demonstration. A woman rushes over, kneels down and places his head in her lap.
"Are you comfortable?" she asks.
"Oh, I do okay." he replied. "Some part time work here & there and I have a pretty good stock portfolio."
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Here is today's CleanPun.
A man is struck in the head by a rock during a heated demonstration. A woman rushes over, kneels down and places his head in her lap.
"Are you comfortable?" she asks.
"Oh, I do okay." he replied. "Some part time work here & there and I have a pretty good stock portfolio."
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Traffic Violation
A traffic cop stopped the woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment he said, "You know something, this is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have their photos retouched to remove all the lines in their face,"
"Sir," she replied icily, "you are looking at my thumb-print."