Feeding the Baby
My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns
to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his
head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"
"That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't
you pretend I'm not at home?"
A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my
husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh...what should I feed Lily for
lunch?"
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
In the Bathroom
A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother
thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about
every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet
seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his
right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in there for a while."
Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone yet."
Mother says, "Okay, you can stay in there a few more minutes, but
Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, "Works for ketchup!"
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Flight Engineer in Panama
As a flight engineer, I had been stationed in Panama for
several months before the December 1989 invasion. Ever since
I began my air force flying career, my mother has been
concerned about my safety. So I expected a long letter from
her expressing her anxiety.
But what she sent was a sheet of paper containing six words:
"KICK THEIRS. PROTECT YOURS. LOVE, MOM."