Vet Appointment
In his younger days our golden retriever, Catcher, often ran away when he
had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road
and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would
call me to come pick him up.
One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine.
"Will you be bringing him in yourself," asked the receptionist, "or will he
come on his own?"
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Daily News
A man would buy a newspaper on the way to work every day,
glance at the headline, and hand it back to the newsboy.
Day after day the man would go through this routine. Finally
the newsboy could not stand it and he asked the man, "Why do
you always buy a paper and only look at the front page
before discarding it?"
The man replied, "I am only interested in the obituaries."
"But they are on page 21. You never even unfold the
newspaper."
"Young man," he said, "the man I'm looking for will be on
the front page."
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Attractive
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article
about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who
was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the
biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."