Sunday, October 10, 2004

hUMOR For October 10

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Did you know........

This must take a special kind of person.

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns and Why?

21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one-gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1.

3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time, and if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face, and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30."

Other requirements of the Guard:

They must commit Two years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn.

The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform.

Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV.

All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM..

I don't know if you saw this in the news but it really impressed me. Funny, our US Senate/House took 2 days off, as they couldn't work because of the expected storm.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabelle approaching Washington DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment.

They respectfully declined the offer, "No Way, Sir!"

Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service-person.

The Tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.

God Bless them.

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From The Heart

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother......
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. ....."Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass..... "They'll be more important as you get older. ... No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends.

... Remember to go places with them now and then....... do things with them..... And remember that girlfriends are not only your friends, but your sisters your daughters, and other relatives too......
You'll need other women. .

What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought..... 'Haven't I just gotten married?.....
Haven't I just joined the couple-world?

... I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grown-up, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! ....
Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!' ..

But she listened to her Mother..... she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year...... As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about...... As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman.....
girlfriends are the mainstays of her life.....

After 50 years of living in this world, here is what she learned: Times passes...... Life happens.
.Distance separates. .... Children grow up..... Love waxes and wanes. .... Hearts break. .... Careers end.
... Jobs come and go.... Parents die.... . Colleagues forget favors..... Men don't call when they say they will..... BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you..... A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can Reach...... When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself..... your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim.... cheering you on.... praying for you.... pulling for you.....
intervening on your behalf, and .waiting with open arms at the valley's end. .

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...... Or come in and carry you out.......
Daughters, sisters, mother, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law, Auntie's, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless our life! ..... The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I....... When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead...... Nor did we know how much we would need each other....... Every day, we need each other still.......
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Tattoo

When my brother-in-law was on leave from national service, he brought home
a heavily tattooed friend. We all sat down to Sunday lunch, and my
four-year-old nephew couldn't take his eyes off the man's colorful arms.
Curiosity finally got the better off him. Politely, he asked the visitor,
"Didn't your mother give you paper to write on?"
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Here is today's CleanPun.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
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One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $64 change.