Memorial Day 2006
The joke for today has been sent. I want to be serious for a moment
and talk about the holiday which will be celebrated here in the
United States on Monday.
Memorial Day is on the last Monday in May and honors those men and
women who lost their lives serving their country. What we celebrate
as Memorial Day today, began at the end of the Civil War. Family
members of the many soldiers slain in battle would visit the grave
sites of their fallen relatives or friends and decorate the graves
with flowers.
On May 5, 1868, General John Logan proclaimed this day a holiday
through his General Order No. 11. The day was entitled Decoration Day
and was first observed on May 30, 1868. The northern states
celebrated this day every year, but the southern states celebrated a
day similar to this on a different day until sometime after World War I.
In 1882, the name Decoration day was changed to Memorial Day, and in
1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the
last Monday of May every year. Over the years it has come to serve as
a day to remember all U.S. men and women killed or missing in action
in all wars.
I am truly grateful for the freedoms which we enjoy today. Too often,
we take these gifts for granted, little realizing the sacrifice which
was involved in ensuring that these freedoms continue to be a part of
all of our lives. Be honest, how many of us think of Memorial Day as
just another chance for a three-day weekend? A chance to go the lakes
or beaches or mountains? A trip to Disneyland or Six Flags or some
other amusement park?
If you are here in the United States, please remember to display the
flag, not just for the day but for the whole weekend. Let's not
forget the real reason for having this holiday. The quote below says
it all. Please take the time to read it.
Take care everyone.
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"Surgical Tools"
To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was screaming with extreme stomach pain and was surrounded by many anxious relatives. The Doctor kicked all the relatives out of the room, closed the door with patient and he inside.
After a while he came out and asked, "Please give me a pair of scissors." People gave him stainless steel scissors. He again went inside, closed the door and soon came back. He said, "Please give me a hammer." He got one. A number of times he repeated the routine of going inside, closing the door and then coming back again for a new tool.
Finaly he came outside one more time and asked, "Please give me a screw driver." The oldest son could not stand it any more and lost his patience. In a crying voice he pleaded, "Doctor please tell us what has happened to our dear Dad. Will he live? Could we open his will?"
The doctor said, "No, I don't know that yet. I am still trying to open my stupid bag - I lost the key."
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CleanQuote
"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody else has thought." - Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
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Foolishness"
The two teenagers were arrested for disorderly conduct. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Some time later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.
The sergeant said, "I suppose you're the lawyer?"
"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver their pizza."
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A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He is
playing in the water and she is standing on the shore not
wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge
wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot
where the boy is wading.
The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. Swept
away.
She raises her hands to the sky as she screams and cries,
"Lord, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful
grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I
kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to B'nai B'rith? Haven't
I given to Hadassah? Haven't I lit candles every Friday
night? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you
would be proud of?"
A voice booms from the sky, "Okay, okay!"
A few minutes later, another huge wave appears out of
nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the
boy is standing there, smiling and splashing around as if
nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are
you satisfied?"
She responds, "He had a hat."
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We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her
college education. One day she came home with five applications, and later
that evening we read them.
Under "Previous Employment," she listed "Baby-sitting." Under "Reason for
Leaving" she wrote, "They came home."
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A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is very
rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long
beard, payes, the works. The judge, without asking a question, says to the
clerk: "Quick! Get me a translator."
The translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his name is, how
old is he and where does he come from?"
The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist
du, and fun vie kumst du?"
The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a
British accent: "Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82
next Thursday and I've come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew
Philosophy at Oxford University."
The translator turns to the judge and says: "Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim
Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish
philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford."
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Hypochondriacs are sick.
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From Sunshinerose28
After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in
the same way again!
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose,
fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana
gives an instant, sustained, and substantial boost of
energy. Research has proven that just two bananas
provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute
workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit
with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't
the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can
also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of
illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to
our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND
amongst people suffering from depression, many felt
much better after eating a banana. This is because
bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the
body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax,
improve your mood and generally make you feel
happier.
PMS:
Forget the pills -- eat a banana.
The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose
levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of
hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of
anemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in
potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way
to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and
Drug Administration has just allowed the banana
industry to make official claims for the fruit's
ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and
stroke.
Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were
helped through their exams this year by eating bananas
at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost
their brain power. Research has shown that the
potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making
pupils more alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help
restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the
problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to
make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The
banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the
honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while
the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so
if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for
soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood
sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing
the affected area with the inside of a banana skin.
Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing
swelling and irritation.
Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the
nervous system.
Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria
found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort
food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000
hospital patients, researchers found the most obese
were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The
report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food
cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels
by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours
to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against
intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and
smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten
without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also
neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by
coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit
that can lower both the physical and emotional
temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for
example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their
baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain
the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up
smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the
potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body
recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize
the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain, and
regulates your body's water balance.
When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises,
thereby reducing our potassium levels.
These can be rebalanced with the help of a
high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of
Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet
can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as
40%!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills.
When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the
protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the
phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and
twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich
in potassium and is one of the best value foods
around. So maybe its time to change that well-known
phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the
doctor away!"