Wednesday, April 20, 2005

hUMOR For April 20th

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There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both were equally attractive and well spoken. It was up to the senior partner to choose one, so he took each aside and asked, "Why did you become a lawyer?"
In seconds, he chose Paul. Baffled, Robert took Paul aside.
"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"
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A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.
As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So... how do you like your rice? Boiled? Or fried?"
Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied, "Thrown."
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At the end of their first date, a guy takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, the guy decides to try for the first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ’bout a good night kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see
us!”

Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

Him: "Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all
sleeping!"

Her: “No way. It’s too risky!”

Him: “Oh please, please, I like you so much!”

Her: “No, no and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”

Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?”

Her: No, no. I just can’t.”

Him: “I beg you....”

Suddenly, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down and do it. But for crying out loud, tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”
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At the end of their first date, a guy takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, the guy decides to try for the first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ’bout a good night kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see
us!”

Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

Him: "Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all
sleeping!"

Her: “No way. It’s too risky!”

Him: “Oh please, please, I like you so much!”

Her: “No, no and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”

Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?”

Her: No, no. I just can’t.”

Him: “I beg you....”

Suddenly, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down and do it. But for crying out loud, tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”
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Watergate

A couple stayed at the Watergate Hotel while visiting Washington, D,C. The
wife was concerned. "What if, after all these years, the place is still
bugged?" The husband says, "I'll look for a bug."

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, and under the rug. "Aha"
Under the rug was a disc with 4 screws. He gets his screwdriver, unscrews
the screws and throws the disc out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the couple "How was your room?"
"How was the service?" "How was your stay at the Watergate?"

The husband says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"

The hotel manager says "Well, the room under you complained of the
chandelier falling on them."