"Magician's Secret".
During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman from the back of the theater yelled out, "Hey, how'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, madam", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause, she yelled back, "Ok, then... Just tell my husband!"
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Let Us KnowThe following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:"Here's a good test for stomach muscles. Clasp your hands over your head and place your feet together on the floor. Now bend to the right at the waist as you sit down to the left of your feet. Now by sheer muscular control, haul yourself up, bend to the left and sit down on the floor to the right of your feet. Keep this up and let us know of the result."The first letter received by the magazine said "HERNIA"
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During a bout of tornadic weather, a local TV newsperson standing by a
roadside at 5:20 p.m. made the statement that the sky was growing very dark,
indicating that this was a sign of tornadoes approaching.
Since it was January, it was also a sign that the sun was going down.
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Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales
representative went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion
in your mind," said the doctor. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'll give
the presentation of your life. However, do not say 'one-two-three-four,'
because it will cause you to freeze up and make a fool of yourself."
The sales rep was ecstatic. He tried it at home and gave a fabulous
presentation. He tried it at work, and got a standing ovation. Then came the
big day. Everything was set up in the boardroom and the CEO signaled him to
start.
The sales rep whispered under his breath, "One-two-three."
Then the CEO asked, "What did you say 'one-two-three' for?"
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"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso
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Little Danny came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100% in school today!"
"That's great, my boy," said his daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50% in spelling, 30% in math, and 20% in reading."