Friday, August 29, 2008

hUMOR For Aug 29th

Triangle of LifeWhere to be - and where not to be - during an EarthquakeNew earthquake survival info saves lives & contradicts past beliefssee also Safety Section
[Remember being told to hide under a table or stand in a doorway during an earthquake? This guy has a completely reverse, very interesting opinion - different from what we were all taught. Doug Copp is the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world’s most experienced rescue team. Having crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, and founded & worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, Doug ensures us that this article will save lives in an earthquake...]
Extract from Doug Copp’s Article on
“The Triangle of Life”
“I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. I have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn’t at the time know that the children were told to hide under something. Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the ‘triangle of life’. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the ‘triangles’ you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.Tips for Earthquake Safety1) Most everyone who simply ‘ducks and covers’ when buildings collapse are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different ‘moment of frequency’ (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn’t collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.”Spread the word and save someone’s life... The entire world is experiencing natural calamities, so be prepared!‘We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly’

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Olympic Games QuotesAthletes and sports announcers say some incredibly dubm things…see also Olympic Section
“A brain scan revealed Andrew Caddick is not suffering from a stress fracture of the shin.” – Joe Sheldon“Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC President is hugging the cox of the British crew.” – At a rowing medal ceremony“And for those of you who watched the last programme, I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny’s.” – David Coleman“… and later we’ll have action from the men’s cockles pairs.” – Sue Barker, rowing commentator“Bobby Gould thinks I’m trying to stab him in the back. In fact, I’m right behind him.” – Stuart Pearson“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.” – John Motson, football commentator“Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand.” – Ted Lowe“He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.” – Basketball analyst“Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.” – David Coleman“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.” – Stuart Pearce“I can’t tell who’d leading. It’s either Oxford or Cambridge.” – John Snagge“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” – Paul Hamm, Gymnast“I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad I won rather than lost.” – Frank Bruno“I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.” – Ron Atkinson“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” – Softball announcer“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” – Mark Draper“I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right.” – Marion Starling“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” – Winston Bennett“It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up.” – Ian Wright“Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.” – Soccer commentator“Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansell. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers.” – Murray Walker“Lara’s chanced his arm, and it’s come off.” – Brian Johnston“One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them…” – Tennis commentator“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.” – David Acfield“Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.” – Boxing analyst“That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect.” – Ted Lowe“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.” – Murray Walker – racing commentator“The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It’s long and square.” – Trevor Bailey“The race course is as level as a billiard ball.” – John Francombe“There goes Juan Torera down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.” – David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics“There’s going to be a real ding dong when the bell goes.” – David Coleman“This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.” – Weightlifting commentator“This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.” – Ted Walsh, dressage commentator“To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.” – Ruud Gullit, football coach“Watch the time – it gives you an indication of how fast they are running.” – Ron Pickering“We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised.” – Ian McNail, football commentator“We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.” – Bobby Robson“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.” – Murray Walker, racing commentator“We’ll still be happy if we lose. It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival.” – Noel O’Mahoney“Well, either side could win, or it could be a draw.” – Ron Atkinson

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

August 8, 2008, 2007: the Ultimate 'Lucky Day'Is it a coincidence that the Beijing Summer Olympics starts on 08/08/08?
In Mandarin, the word for “eight” sounds like the word for “fortune”. Friday, August 8, 2008 is such a lucky day, bringing prosperity to Chinese wedding plans and Chinese women hoping for a Friday birth. Daphne & Van Wong of Richmond, B.C. are getting married at 8 PM - the Chapel at Minoru Park has five weddings scheduled.Pregnant women with an 08/08/08 due date are keeping their fingers crossed, even though only 4% of women deliver on their due date. In Canada, local hospitals don't perform cesarean sections in order for women to have babies on a specific date, but in China there may be a few extra Olympic babies born...