"Three Important Words"
At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
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Everyday, the Cybersalt Shaker site has new front page inspirational content, a new cartoon, a new CleanLaugh from the archives, and other material for reading.
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Today's CleanLaugh - "Three Important Words"
At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
Today's Oneliner
"Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous.'"
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CleanPun - " Dentures "
I went to the dentist with my uncle the other day. He needed needed new dentures. The dentist showed him some that only cost a dollar.
The dentist did want my uncle to understand, though, that they were buck teeth.
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The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a
natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can
carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do
you conclude from that?"
One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a
union."
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Real Estimating!
[]
Programmer at this retail chain gets an assignment to add some
functionality to four reporting applications. One change request is
to add passwords to one of the four applications -- but just one.
"Just doing one sounded suspicious to me," says the programmer. "So I
decided to code the password logic in a separate module for easy
reuse. I only had to add one line of code to the existing executable."
Fast-forward six months: The new versions are installed in a handful
of stores for beta testing before they'll roll out to 1,000 stores
nationwide. Programmer's boss drops by his cubicle to tell him that
the users like the password function, but they wanted it on all four
applications. How long would it take to add it to the other three?
He calculates: add one line of code, compile, do some testing. That's
maybe a few hours' work if everything goes as planned -- which it seldom does.
"Two days," he tells his boss.
She's skeptical. "Are you sure?" she says. "Let's say one week."
Programmer shrugs. Boss continues: "Three applications, one week
each, I'll tell them three weeks."
He tries to explain that he estimated two days for all three
applications. She's still skeptical, but after he assures her that
with code reuse he really can finish in two days, boss compromises:
She'll tell them it'll be done in one week.
"I went to lunch, came back and updated all three in about an hour,"
says the programmer. "The module worked great. I walked over to my
boss's office to tell her the news. She asked if I was sure it
worked. I assured her it did.
"She had already sent the estimate to her manager and, to be safe,
she told him two weeks. She asked me not to send it to QA for another
week. We didn't want to look too good.
"I had a chuckle and started working on something else. A couple of
hours later, she forwarded me a note from her manager to the business
client. He had padded it another week. I now had three weeks to
finish my already completed changes.
"I worked on other things for a week, recompiled them so the date was
recent, and got a big attaboy for finishing so promptly."
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"Clergy Banter "
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."