Exasperation
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier
41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched
with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children
fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents
reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the
father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
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TRIVIA: What is the most watched movie in history?
"Honesty shines like a light through your eyes."
ANSWER AT END OF POST
++++++++++++++++++
Thanks to La Mi -- AIN'T IT FUNNY…
* Ain't it funny... how we set our clocks to arise at
4:00 am or 5:00 am to be at the job by 7:30; yet, when
Sunday comes we can't get to church for the 11:00 a.m.
service to praise the one who gave us the jobs!
* Ain't it funny... how we call God our Father and
Jesus our brother; but find it hard to introduce them
to our family.
* Ain't it funny... how small our sins seem, but how
big "their" sins are.
* Ain't it funny... how we demand justice for others;
but expect mercy from God.
* Ain't it funny... how much difficulty some have
learning the gospel well enough to tell others; but
how simple it is to understand and explain the latest
gossip about someone else.
* Ain't it funny... how we can't think of anything to
say when we pray; but don't have any difficulty
thinking of things to talk about to a friend.
* Ain't it funny... how we are so quick to take
directions from a total stranger when we are lost; but
are hesitant to take God's direction for our lives.
* Ain't it funny... how so many church goers sing
"Standing on the Promises"; but all they do is sit on
the premises.
* Ain't it funny... how people want God to answer
their prayers; but refuse to listen to His counsel.
* Ain't it funny... how it is okay to blame God for
evil and suffering in the world; but it is not
necessary to thank Him for what is good and pleasant.
* Ain't it funny... how when something goes wrong we
cry, "Lord, why me?"; but when something goes right,
we think, "Hey! it must be me!"
* Oh wait... maybe all of this just isn't so "funny"
after all.
++++++++++++++++++
A favorite from SunshineRose28 -- Van Gogh's Family
Tree
His dizzy aunt ------------------------------Verti
Gogh
The brother who ate prunes ------------------Gotta
Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ----Stop
n Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia -----------------U
Gogh
The cousin from Illinois ------------------- Chica
Gogh
His magician uncle --------------------Where-diddy
Gogh
His Mexican cousin ------------------------- A mee
Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach-------Wells-far
Gogh
The constipated uncle ----------------------- Cant
Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------- Tang
Gogh
The bird lover uncle -----------------------Flamin
Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst ----------------------- E
Gogh
The fruit loving cousin -----------------------Man
Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking ------ Way-to
Gogh
The little bouncy nephew --------------------- Poe
Gogh
A sister who loved disco -----------------------Go
Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van
---Winnie Bay Gogh And there ya Gogh!
++++++++++++++++++
Thanks to SunshineRose28 -- Bible Questions
Q: The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story
had a window to let light in, but how did they get
light to the bottom 2 stories?
A: They used floodlights.
Q: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the
Bible?
A: David - he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepherds.
Q: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A: Turn right and go straight.
Q: Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant
lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at
once.
Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around the Jordan - the banks were always
overflowing.
Q: Which bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.
Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He only had two worms!
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible ?
A: Noah: He was floating his stock, while everyone
else was in liquidation.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the
Bible ?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
++++++++++++++++++
ANSWER: The most watched movie in history is "The
Wizard of Oz" -- seen by well over a billion people.
++++++++++++++++++
A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read,
"Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."
Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the
waitress, "Five dollars each for lobster tails -- is that
correct?"
"Yes," she said. "It's our special just for today."
"Well," he said, "they must be little lobster tails."
"No," she replied, "it's the really big lobster."
"Are you sure they aren't green lobster tails -- and a
little bit tough?"
"No," she said, "it's the really big red lobster."
"Big red lobster tails, $5 each?" he said, amazed. "They
must be old lobster tails!"
"No, they're definitely today's."
"Today's big red lobster tails -- $5 each?" he repeated,
astounded.
"Yes," she insisted.
"Well, here's my five dollars," he said. "I'll take one."
She took the money and led him to a table where she invited
him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand
on his shoulder, leaned over close to him, and said, "Once
upon a time there was a really big red lobster..."
++++++++++++++++++
ANSWER: The most watched movie in history is "The
Wizard of Oz" -- seen by well over a billion people.