Weird News
Dunkin' Donuts worker busted for potty cam
Danish Qureshi, 25, of
"This is one aberrant act committed by a store employee using poor judgment," a Dunkin' Donuts statement said.
Police said a man who had similar equipment reported Qureshi's plan when he accidentally picked up footage of the bathroom on his home system.
It is reported Qureshi is facing charges of second-degree unlawful surveillance, which is a Class E felony.
He was let out of police custody on $7,500 bail Sunday after being arraigned at First District Court in
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Fighting soldier accidentally calls home
OTIS, Ore. (UPI) -- An Oregon couple said their son, a soldier serving in Afghanistan, accidentally called home and left a three-minute recording on their machine during a battle.
Jeff and Sandie Petee, parents of Stephen Phillips, said the message contained shooting, shouted profanity and calls for more ammunition, KPTV in
"His friend died a year ago in
"They were pinned down and apparently his barrel was overheating," said Jeff Petee. "It's something a parent really doesn't want to hear. It's a heck of a message to get from your son in
The parents said they were eventually able to make contact with their son, who told them his phone accidentally redialed their number when it was pressed up against his Humvee during the battle. Sandie Petee said Phillips, who is in the Army's military police, is expected to come home at the end of his tour next month.
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New Math
- Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits
- Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
- Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
- Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
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Tough Rats
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
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The Shoe
One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife.
Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window.
They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?"
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Good Trade
A man is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whatcha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife," answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaimed his friend, "Good trade."
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Chapstick
We had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who just
recently died.
Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him around
and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to
hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom.
We have three kids, and at the time of this story, they were
4 years old, 3 years old, and 1 year old. The middle one is
Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED it. He kept asking to
use my Chapstick and then would lose it. Finally one day I
showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and
explained he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he
needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished.
That year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush
around and try to get ready for church with everyone crying
and carrying on. My two boys were fighting over the toy in
the cereal box. I was trying to nurse my little one at the
same time I was putting on my make-up. Everything was a
mess, and everyone had long forgotten that this was a
wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is
motherhood.
We finally had the older one and the baby loaded in the car
and I was looking for Eli. I searched everywhere and I
finally went into the bathroom. There was Eli. He was
applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's ... rear end.
Eli looked right into my eyes and said, "Chapped." Now if
you have a cat, you know that he is right -- their little
bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't
seem to mind. The only question to ask at that point was
whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's
behind or the hundredth!?!
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it
reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these
glorious little creatures, there will always be that day
when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the
cat's butt.
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"Microsoft has offered to buy Yahoo! for $46 billion. I don't
think President Bush understands how these Internet companies
work. Like today he said, 'Why would Microsoft be interested
in a chocolate drink?'" -Jay Leno
***
"They're saying $10 gas by Labor Day. Hillary Clinton says
she supports a summer gas tax holiday. I don't know what
that means exactly, but I will says I am in favor of any
holiday that doesn't involve relatives." -Dave Letterman
***
"The other day at a campaign stop in Indiana, Barack Obama
lost a game of pick-up basketball to a 14-year-old. Mean-
while, across town, Hillary Clinton single-handedly defeated
the entire women's field hockey team." -Conan O'Brien
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To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called he
church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of
her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short
while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary
asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't
remember.
After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about
the name of the baby's father."
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My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in
girl: athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over
the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare.
The waitress gave us a long blank look, and then replied,
"Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."
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The Tiny Cabin
A tourist from the
Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door.
"Anybody home?" he asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the tourist.
"Pa ? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the tourist.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.
"But," protested the city slicker, "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!"
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Honking Etiquette
One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at me for an explanation.
I said "I did that by accident".
She replied "I know that, daddy"
I replied, "How'd you know?"
Melanie said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"