Pawn Return
In 1952 I was in the Army and just arrived in Frankfurt,Germany. I
did not have much money and asked about getting some before payday. I
found out that it was easy to get to a pawn shop by calling a taxi.
I got a taxi (that was an experience in itself) went to a pawn shop
and pawned my watch. I wrote down the street name and number so I
could get back.
On payday, I called a cab again to get my watch. I gave the driver
the street and number as 2245 Eienbanstrausa and he burst out laughing.
Eienbanstrausa means "One Way Street".
+++++++++++++++++++
"Scale Convention"
At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight.
A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three pounds."
+++++++++++++++++++
Oneliner
"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."
+++++++++++++++++++
"Chicken Surprise"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Hey, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Sputtering in a fit of pique, he calls the waiter over, describes what is happening, and demands an explanation!
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."
+++++++++++++++++++
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will
keep trying it several times to see if you can outsmart your
foot -- but you can't!
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the
floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air
with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!
Told you so -- and there's nothing you can do about it! :)