Golf Bet
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second
fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he
usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both
are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, "Say,
we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to
bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of
the holes and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and
while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a
neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers. The first fellow
reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to
which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers
to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, "No, no. You won
fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your
winnings." The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it
up to you?" The Priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday
and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by
after Mass, I'll marry them for you."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down
answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you
like to be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to
me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual'?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Parking Lot Stay"
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched, full-out, on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a very pretty young lady, gave me a strange look and said,
"Why don't you just put it in park"?