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A Soldier's Night Before Christmas
(Original Title is "Merry Christmas, My Friend")
'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, In a one-bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney, with presents to give and to see just who in this home did live.
As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see, no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.
With medals and badges, awards of all kind, a sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.
I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more, so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone, Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.
He seemed so gentle, his face so serene, Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero, of whom I'd just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?
His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.
I soon understood, this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night, owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.
Soon around the Nation, the children would play, And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year, because of Marines like this one lying here.
I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone, on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.
He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice, "Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."
With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep, I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I watched him for hours, so silent and still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red, and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold, with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride, and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.
I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night, this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure, said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right, Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.
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Little Brother?
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I'd like
a little brother," the boy said.
"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little
brother?"
"Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."
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Here is today's CleanPun.
Late one evening, while sitting and looking out their kitchen window somewhere in northern Russia, Rudolf and his wife Tanya were observing the inclement weather.
"This rain is going to make a mess out of the roads tonight Tanya," said Rudolf.
"That's not rain," says Tanya, "that's snow!"
"Don't be rediculous!" huffs Rudolf. "That's Rain!"
"Thats snow you old fool," says Tanya.
"Its not snow old woman, its rain, ... Rudolf the red knows rain dear!"
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Here is today's CleanPun.
Late one evening, while sitting and looking out their kitchen window somewhere in northern Russia, Rudolf and his wife Tanya were observing the inclement weather.
"This rain is going to make a mess out of the roads tonight Tanya," said Rudolf.
"That's not rain," says Tanya, "that's snow!"
"Don't be rediculous!" huffs Rudolf. "That's Rain!"
"Thats snow you old fool," says Tanya.
"Its not snow old woman, its rain, ... Rudolf the red knows rain dear!"
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Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty smart.
The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.
Everyone agreed that that was good.
The chemist said that his dog could do better still. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?"
The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers'
compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
They all agreed that that was brilliant!