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Thanks to GB: I am Proud to be your Friend!
I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer
it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything
we ask for.
I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life
so spectacular.
I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants
to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes
me think I can?
I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are
only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned...
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to
surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a
smile.
I've learned....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your
babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with
them.
I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned...
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take
the ones you miss.
I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock
elsewhere.
I've learned...
That I wish I could have told those I cared about that
I love them one more time before they passed away.
I've learned.
That one should keep his words both soft and tender,
because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
looks.
I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what
I do about it.
I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little
finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for
life.
I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain but
all the happiness and growth occurs while you're
climbing it.
I've learned.
That it is best to give advice in only two
circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a
life threatening situation.
I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more
things I get done.
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Here is today's CleanPun.
A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"
His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."
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Losing Weight
My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the
instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of
this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?"
"Low in calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the answers. She then
detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not
only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid 75 cents
for this candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat.
From the back of the room a small voice spoke up, "I'll give you a dollar
for it."