"The End is Near"
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They held up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?"
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Hellman's Mayo Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko De Mayo
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"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." - Mark Twain
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"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason." - C. S. Lewis
@@@@@@@@@@@@@"Real Skill"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of wine."
The farmhand asked, "How can I buy you wine with no money at all?"
The rich man said, "Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money."
After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, "Enjoy the wine, please."
Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, "There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?"
The farmhand said, "Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none."
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A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the
23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed
disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will
follow me all the days of my life..."
"What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked.
"Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness
and mercy, for God is good. But I'm not sure I'd like
Shirley following me around all the time."