Sunday, August 01, 2004

What's Your Southern Sign?

What's Your Southern Sign?
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius.Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics.Or - maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Once you've seen

"Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall."

A blonde

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss feeling very sorry for her says, "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.""Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!"

OLD GEEZERS!!

OLD GEEZERS!!
"Geezers" are easy to spot; this is slang for an old man. But at sporting events, during the playing of the National Anthem, they hold their caps over their hearts and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. They remember World War I, the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam. If you bump into a "Geezer" on the sidewalk, he'll apologize, pass one on a street and he'll nod, or tip his hat to a lady.
"Geezers" trust strangers and are courtly to women.
They hold the door for the next person and always when walking, make sure the lady is on the inside for protection. "Geezers" get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like violence and filth on TV and in movies. Geezers have moral courage. Geezers seldom brag unless its about the grandchildren in Little League or music recitals. This country needs "Geezers" with their decent values and common sense. We need them now more than ever. It's the "Geezers: who know our great country is protected, not by politicians or police, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country in foreign lands, just as they did, without a thought except to do a good job, the best you can and to get home to loved ones.
THANK GOD for "OLD GEEZERS".